The following is a direct transcript of a text conversation I had with my 18-year-old niece, otherwise known as “the 18 y.o.” I hope it brings you a measure of levity in these dark times.
Warning: This conversation will only make sense if you have watched the Disney Channel original cartoon Kim Possible. If you haven’t watched it you should. Like, now. I’ll wait.
The 18 y.o.: You never answer when I call you.
Me: That’s because I’m always on the bus and couldn’t hear you if I answered. I’ll call when I get home.
The 18 y.o.: Ok . . . I’M WATCHING YOU.
The 18 y.o.: I’m KP. I see everything.
Me: Can I be Wade?
The 18 y.o.: Um, no, because Wade always answers the phone.
Me: Wow. Burn. I really set myself up for that one. Rufus?
The 18 y.o.: Are you tiny and hairless?
Me: I’m one of those things. Although, as mammals, I don’t know if naked mole rats are truly hairless.
The 18 y.o.: They aren’t. They have tiny hairs that are so blonde you can’t see them.